Week 17 Results - 12/5/06
1st ($70 / 10pts): Mick "Furry Kitty" McNulty
2nd ($0/ 7pts): John "Dapper Dong" St Denis
3rd ($0 / 4pts): Laura "Mystery Muff" Boudloche
Low Stakes / 10 Players / 1 Table / 100a Endtime
(As written by Mick, but published by Adam - nicknames by the JackAce as well.)
We had 10 people at the table, with 4 ReBuys for a total winning bank of $70. Pairs of jacks continued to suck for everyone getting cracked at least 3 times. Laura B won two devastating suck out hands against Daniel O, with the most memorable having a runner runner (ace, king) on fourth street for the win. Daniel O of course was inconsolable. We saw one quad 5's from Mick M early in the game. The chip lead changed many times, Mick M was big early on, then Ray F, then Martin, then Margaret B, and then finally Laura B who was huge for quite some time... then, Ray F pointed out that Laura B seemed to be squandering her chip lead, then he pointed it out again a few hands later, and again about a half hour later- can you say trying to put her on tilt? If you were the big stack at one point and I did not recount the night accurately, then YOU can write this shit next time…
Fun for the table was when Bart B paid Daniel O $10 to deal for him- Bart B let us know that he had been stressed out at the thought of having to deal to our table when he went out- evidently, we come off as a bunch of prima donna assholes when it comes to dealing. And we intimidate the holy shit out of new people. (good to know, how do we use that to our advantage??? Hmmmm) this was also the time we learned that Margaret B does not give you change if you bring a $20 to the table, she just pockets the difference unless you ask. So bring $5 bills, or someone else volunteer to be in charge of money.
With 5 or six people left, Mick M was down to 14,000 in chips and was the short stack and thought about just going all in, but I made some amazing lay downs, which I fortunately did not rabbit hunt, so I could live with myself for a few more days. Of note, was the one time I did ask to rabbit hunt and turned over my cards, and the dealer (fucking Martin G), said no and cleared the flop. Evidently my little bitchy jibes all night hit their mark- hehehe.
At one point in the evening, Bart B said something truly off color, and Mick M officially welcomed him to the group- he was also extremely helpful in finding Brittany spears naked vagina pictures during the break (that boy knows his trashy celebrity gossip websites). Surprisingly, Daniel O also knew how to locate a picture of Brittany's hoochie quickly on the internet (correct me again Margaret B and Laura B!).
Thus we continued our usual nasty table-talk, with the main topic of interest being should women shave/wax their nether regions. Mick M seemed to be in the minority with her "what the fuck are these women doing to themselves?! While Margaret B chimed in with her epitaph, "mow the lawn, don't scorch the earth". Notably, Laura B would not answer if she shaved or not. By the way, Bart B likes his women "to look like little girls" but since he is a lawyer, he might be lying.
By the way, Bart B introduced himself early in the night, by mentioning that he is gay, which immediately perked John SD up, but then Bart B recanted and let us know he is a lawyer who lies. Then John SD let us all know, that men should trim too, so when someone sucks their cock they do not get a mouth full of hair when they deep throat, and evidently it is a scientific fact that men are better at deep throating than women.
And finally, Dallas D is very, very quiet when he is altered, and should not "drink" with Bart B anymore. Dallas D also lies when he is "drinking" and says he is pre-menstrual instead. But it was kind of fun to watch him "sober up" and come back to life about 4 hours into the game. Mick M also learned that there are two kinds of "alcohol", the good, make you happy kind and the bad, make you sad, kind- buyer beware......
(Editor's Note: This apparently explains the few bizarre hours that Adam J spent taking care of Mick M some time back, whilst she chanted "Make it stop!" in between bursts of tears, then giggles, then tears again.)
.....John SD wondered if he could get a special kind of "alcohol" from Daniel O, and everyone at the table assured John SD, that indeed, Daniel O had all the right connections for amazing "alcohol". Dallas D also noticed (for the first time?) that "Mick is really dark!" maybe it was the "alcohol" that gave him such clarity?
Okay back to poker, Laura B was third being taken out by Mick M who almost didn't call with her ace high flush draw, there was a king on the board and Laura B went all in, Mick M was convinced that Laura B had the king, and with two cards to come, I thought, sure, what the hell, I might get another club for an ace high flush. Turns out, Laura B was also on a flush draw, but alas her high card was a queen, and Mick M took her out with high card – the Flush did not come (and it didn't write, call or leave a note to apologize, turns out, the Flush is a man- who knew?).
Heads up was Mick M and John SD, here is the blow by blow of every hand. We begin with the chip count, Mick M has 130k, and John SD has 90k. First hand heads up, Mick M gets Ace, 8- John SD bets 8k pre-flop, Mick M goes over the top to 20k and John SD folds like a little girl saying "nice bet Mick M". Second hand, John SD bets 15k, Mick M has Queen, 8 suited spades, she calls (because she is a genius) and the flop comes Ace, 8, 8. John SD bets some bullshit like 8k, Mick M goes all in, John SD says to himself- Mick M doesn't have an ace, she is a lying bitch and I am going to call with my pocket 2's and teach that bitch a lesson. Then John SD said "Dammit! I really could have used that money!" And that was the end of the night folks.
I do feel shitty for winning and taking money from a college student and a friend I will probably call with medical questions for the rest of my life... (not shitty enough to give back the money, but almost.) These are the events as I recall them, if you don't like it, or agree with the accuracy, go fuck yourself. Seriously, go fuck yourself.
Wow, it IS kind of fun to write these, who knew? (but, I am only writing these when I win folks!)
PS - Special thanks to both John SD and Laura B, who stayed to help clean up- thank you so much guys.
Please Note:
In the beginning of the night it was decided that from now on, we should plan on getting to McJo's at 7:20 to set up the table like a big ole hippie commune- TOGETHER. Mick M is having a hard time getting off work, eating, cleaning, and setting up. - so, put it in your fancy phones people, 7:20 pm from now on!
And since your mother doesn't play poker with us, please clean your food shit up, and put your recycling in the bag in the back room, and put your glasses in the dishwasher... I love hanging out and hosting poker, but it is getting old to clean up so my cats don't eat and drink all the stuff you people leave behind.
Also, next week, bring snacks- thinks single serving, individually wrapped crap that will last.
2nd ($0/ 7pts): John "Dapper Dong" St Denis
3rd ($0 / 4pts): Laura "Mystery Muff" Boudloche
Low Stakes / 10 Players / 1 Table / 100a Endtime
(As written by Mick, but published by Adam - nicknames by the JackAce as well.)
We had 10 people at the table, with 4 ReBuys for a total winning bank of $70. Pairs of jacks continued to suck for everyone getting cracked at least 3 times. Laura B won two devastating suck out hands against Daniel O, with the most memorable having a runner runner (ace, king) on fourth street for the win. Daniel O of course was inconsolable. We saw one quad 5's from Mick M early in the game. The chip lead changed many times, Mick M was big early on, then Ray F, then Martin, then Margaret B, and then finally Laura B who was huge for quite some time... then, Ray F pointed out that Laura B seemed to be squandering her chip lead, then he pointed it out again a few hands later, and again about a half hour later- can you say trying to put her on tilt? If you were the big stack at one point and I did not recount the night accurately, then YOU can write this shit next time…
Fun for the table was when Bart B paid Daniel O $10 to deal for him- Bart B let us know that he had been stressed out at the thought of having to deal to our table when he went out- evidently, we come off as a bunch of prima donna assholes when it comes to dealing. And we intimidate the holy shit out of new people. (good to know, how do we use that to our advantage??? Hmmmm) this was also the time we learned that Margaret B does not give you change if you bring a $20 to the table, she just pockets the difference unless you ask. So bring $5 bills, or someone else volunteer to be in charge of money.
With 5 or six people left, Mick M was down to 14,000 in chips and was the short stack and thought about just going all in, but I made some amazing lay downs, which I fortunately did not rabbit hunt, so I could live with myself for a few more days. Of note, was the one time I did ask to rabbit hunt and turned over my cards, and the dealer (fucking Martin G), said no and cleared the flop. Evidently my little bitchy jibes all night hit their mark- hehehe.
At one point in the evening, Bart B said something truly off color, and Mick M officially welcomed him to the group- he was also extremely helpful in finding Brittany spears naked vagina pictures during the break (that boy knows his trashy celebrity gossip websites). Surprisingly, Daniel O also knew how to locate a picture of Brittany's hoochie quickly on the internet (correct me again Margaret B and Laura B!).
Thus we continued our usual nasty table-talk, with the main topic of interest being should women shave/wax their nether regions. Mick M seemed to be in the minority with her "what the fuck are these women doing to themselves?! While Margaret B chimed in with her epitaph, "mow the lawn, don't scorch the earth". Notably, Laura B would not answer if she shaved or not. By the way, Bart B likes his women "to look like little girls" but since he is a lawyer, he might be lying.
By the way, Bart B introduced himself early in the night, by mentioning that he is gay, which immediately perked John SD up, but then Bart B recanted and let us know he is a lawyer who lies. Then John SD let us all know, that men should trim too, so when someone sucks their cock they do not get a mouth full of hair when they deep throat, and evidently it is a scientific fact that men are better at deep throating than women.
And finally, Dallas D is very, very quiet when he is altered, and should not "drink" with Bart B anymore. Dallas D also lies when he is "drinking" and says he is pre-menstrual instead. But it was kind of fun to watch him "sober up" and come back to life about 4 hours into the game. Mick M also learned that there are two kinds of "alcohol", the good, make you happy kind and the bad, make you sad, kind- buyer beware......
(Editor's Note: This apparently explains the few bizarre hours that Adam J spent taking care of Mick M some time back, whilst she chanted "Make it stop!" in between bursts of tears, then giggles, then tears again.)
.....John SD wondered if he could get a special kind of "alcohol" from Daniel O, and everyone at the table assured John SD, that indeed, Daniel O had all the right connections for amazing "alcohol". Dallas D also noticed (for the first time?) that "Mick is really dark!" maybe it was the "alcohol" that gave him such clarity?
Okay back to poker, Laura B was third being taken out by Mick M who almost didn't call with her ace high flush draw, there was a king on the board and Laura B went all in, Mick M was convinced that Laura B had the king, and with two cards to come, I thought, sure, what the hell, I might get another club for an ace high flush. Turns out, Laura B was also on a flush draw, but alas her high card was a queen, and Mick M took her out with high card – the Flush did not come (and it didn't write, call or leave a note to apologize, turns out, the Flush is a man- who knew?).
Heads up was Mick M and John SD, here is the blow by blow of every hand. We begin with the chip count, Mick M has 130k, and John SD has 90k. First hand heads up, Mick M gets Ace, 8- John SD bets 8k pre-flop, Mick M goes over the top to 20k and John SD folds like a little girl saying "nice bet Mick M". Second hand, John SD bets 15k, Mick M has Queen, 8 suited spades, she calls (because she is a genius) and the flop comes Ace, 8, 8. John SD bets some bullshit like 8k, Mick M goes all in, John SD says to himself- Mick M doesn't have an ace, she is a lying bitch and I am going to call with my pocket 2's and teach that bitch a lesson. Then John SD said "Dammit! I really could have used that money!" And that was the end of the night folks.
I do feel shitty for winning and taking money from a college student and a friend I will probably call with medical questions for the rest of my life... (not shitty enough to give back the money, but almost.) These are the events as I recall them, if you don't like it, or agree with the accuracy, go fuck yourself. Seriously, go fuck yourself.
Wow, it IS kind of fun to write these, who knew? (but, I am only writing these when I win folks!)
PS - Special thanks to both John SD and Laura B, who stayed to help clean up- thank you so much guys.
Please Note:
In the beginning of the night it was decided that from now on, we should plan on getting to McJo's at 7:20 to set up the table like a big ole hippie commune- TOGETHER. Mick M is having a hard time getting off work, eating, cleaning, and setting up. - so, put it in your fancy phones people, 7:20 pm from now on!
And since your mother doesn't play poker with us, please clean your food shit up, and put your recycling in the bag in the back room, and put your glasses in the dishwasher... I love hanging out and hosting poker, but it is getting old to clean up so my cats don't eat and drink all the stuff you people leave behind.
Also, next week, bring snacks- thinks single serving, individually wrapped crap that will last.
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