Week 34 Results
1st ($70/ 10pts): Dallas "The Imperturbable" Dickinson
2nd ($10/ 7pts): Eric "Princess" Hepburn
3rd ($0 / 4pts): Aaron "Math Is Hard" Wanstrath
4th ($0 / 2pts): Staci "Footsie" Patterson
Low Stakes / 9 Players / 1 Table / 11:40pm Endtime
Poker is a tale told, as so often is the case, by an idiot - full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
Tonight was all about people resorting to various nefarious tactics to distract me. I. WILL. NOT. BE. DISTRACTED.
Staci had her foot in my groin for the better part of the game. Did I crumble? No. I reached "completion" quietly and with dignity, then moved on and cleaned her clock. That's a euphemism, but not for anything dirty. Eric decided that "he had carpal tunnel and couldn't deal/shuffle" so I had to do it for him - WAH! My pussy hurts, too, Mr. Hepburn. Ray and Adam did their usual "I know what cards you have, dumbass, so you might as well fold now" schtick. Let me say now and in front of the committee that it ONLY worked - and I stress this point - because they were right. And Aaron continued his lengthy comedy improv piece (started way back when I first met him) where he plays "the compulsive engineer type who *somehow inexplicably* can't remember how the basic rules of poker or math work."
So, bring it, folks - if that's all you got. Is there no one else? IS THERE NO ONE ELSE?
In poker news, there were roller-coasters aplenty. A total of seven - yes, seven - rebuys and huge swings from chip leader to chip leader. The rule early in the evening seemed to be "play 8s - for they shall become a set." No fewer than 4 hands were won (some dramatically, some without fanfare) by a set of 8s. After Daniel finally dropped, Lee and Ray fell to a brutal double-kill from then-chip-leader Aaron. Adam lost a ginormous hand after correctly reading Staci's A-x and determining that he had the better kicker. Too bad her kicker paired up. He went out on a blind all-in during the ensuing hand. Mick then staved of death with a few all-ins, but finally died with a whimper.
As we hit four-up, the chips were distributed fairly evenly (everyone was over 45k), and it looked like we had a long night ahead of us. Fortunately for everyone - not least Mick who was dealing - Staci went all-in on a flush draw that I called and had my pair hold up. Soon after that, Aaron went all-in against my flush (oops) and my big stack became ridiculous. Eric and I played maybe six or eight hands heads-up before he correctly guessed that my all-in was two overs against his pair of 4s. Unfortunately, his slight statistical lead evaporated when I hit a pair on the flop and then made two pair on the turn.
See you all in two weeks!
2nd ($10/ 7pts): Eric "Princess" Hepburn
3rd ($0 / 4pts): Aaron "Math Is Hard" Wanstrath
4th ($0 / 2pts): Staci "Footsie" Patterson
Low Stakes / 9 Players / 1 Table / 11:40pm Endtime
Poker is a tale told, as so often is the case, by an idiot - full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
Tonight was all about people resorting to various nefarious tactics to distract me. I. WILL. NOT. BE. DISTRACTED.
Staci had her foot in my groin for the better part of the game. Did I crumble? No. I reached "completion" quietly and with dignity, then moved on and cleaned her clock. That's a euphemism, but not for anything dirty. Eric decided that "he had carpal tunnel and couldn't deal/shuffle" so I had to do it for him - WAH! My pussy hurts, too, Mr. Hepburn. Ray and Adam did their usual "I know what cards you have, dumbass, so you might as well fold now" schtick. Let me say now and in front of the committee that it ONLY worked - and I stress this point - because they were right. And Aaron continued his lengthy comedy improv piece (started way back when I first met him) where he plays "the compulsive engineer type who *somehow inexplicably* can't remember how the basic rules of poker or math work."
So, bring it, folks - if that's all you got. Is there no one else? IS THERE NO ONE ELSE?
In poker news, there were roller-coasters aplenty. A total of seven - yes, seven - rebuys and huge swings from chip leader to chip leader. The rule early in the evening seemed to be "play 8s - for they shall become a set." No fewer than 4 hands were won (some dramatically, some without fanfare) by a set of 8s. After Daniel finally dropped, Lee and Ray fell to a brutal double-kill from then-chip-leader Aaron. Adam lost a ginormous hand after correctly reading Staci's A-x and determining that he had the better kicker. Too bad her kicker paired up. He went out on a blind all-in during the ensuing hand. Mick then staved of death with a few all-ins, but finally died with a whimper.
As we hit four-up, the chips were distributed fairly evenly (everyone was over 45k), and it looked like we had a long night ahead of us. Fortunately for everyone - not least Mick who was dealing - Staci went all-in on a flush draw that I called and had my pair hold up. Soon after that, Aaron went all-in against my flush (oops) and my big stack became ridiculous. Eric and I played maybe six or eight hands heads-up before he correctly guessed that my all-in was two overs against his pair of 4s. Unfortunately, his slight statistical lead evaporated when I hit a pair on the flop and then made two pair on the turn.
See you all in two weeks!
1 Comment(s):
"Next Tuesday, next Tuesday, next Tuesday
Creeps in this petty group from gay to Ray,
Past the last syllable of insulting jabs,
And all their beats and bluffs have chased out fools
who die a sucked-out death.
Out, out damn newbie!
You are but a seated shadow, a poor player,
who bets and folds his hour, amidst the fray, and then is heard no more.
It is a tale told to an idiot, full of sound and fury,
signifying
Loser."
Or something like that.
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